Wishing for a Commune

It's a Friday night and I am cozy, in front of a fire, reading grad school articles while Matt is in L.A. I enjoy the peace of the evening ... but I also know that this big house has been quiet for awhile now, and I'm starting to feel like a hermit. The thought crossed my mind, "gee, I wish I still lived in Minneapolis where there was more people around!" But in truth, even if I lived in Minneapolis there would still be a chance that I'd be quiet and lonely at home tonight.

It makes me think back to yesterday, when I went to my cube at the Humphrey Institute to work. I share a cube with 4 other RA's (5 RA's, 3 desks), and when I arrived I saw that all the other desks were taken. I easily could've gone to the student lounge or elsewhere to study, but instead I sat on the floor, pulled out my laptop ... and felt so content and happy to be cozy with my fellow RAs!

I think growing up in a small house with a close family made me only feel comfortable when I have others around. I do like having my own space to retreat to when I need quiet, but on the other hand, I think back to growing up in my family, and how nice it was to have someone to talk to when you got home at night, to be able to watch tv or movies together, eat dinner together, have someone to share the Sunday paper and drink coffee with. There was conversation, and story sharing, and games of cribbage, and lots of laughter and jokes. It was a 900 square foot with 4 people sharing only 1 bathroom, but we always knew we were never alone.

I like having my own room, and like having my own kitchen so it can be just the way I want it - but other than that, why are there not more housing areas where we can be around more people? Tonight, how I would love to go chat with people in between reading articles, or have someone to play scrabble with over a cup of coffee. It would be so fantastic to share chores, have others around to share dog sitting with, and have a sense of communality.

"Single family housing" isn't all it's cracked up to be ;)

The Dress

I know I mentioned the dress shopping in a previous post, but thought I would write a little more about finding the perfect dress.

First, dress shopping was so much fun! It was the perfect dress shopping experience. Of course, every girl wants her mom to be part of the day, and my mom drove down from Cloquet to spend a few days here. She was a huge help with trying everything on, and made just enough comments while still letting me make up my own mind. Matt's sister Karen was awesome, so supportive and cool and fun. Her daughter Madi was in love with all the pretty dresses! It was great—the first place we went to she stood outside the door, looking at the dress in the window, jaw dropped, in awe of the "princess" ... she thought we were being too slow and came back to get us so she could go in and see the pretty dresses.

We went to 3 dress shops on Thursday. I tried on probably 40 dresses and looked at many, many more! It does get to be overwhelming to try to figure out what you like and don't like. I actually found many dresses that I thought looked nice on me ... but finally fell in love with 2 dresses, at different shops.

I didn't want to draw the process out out too long. I knew I wouldn't be able to let it rest if I didn't decide ... so I really wanted to make a decision! So, on Friday my mom and I had thought we might go look at other places. Instead, we drove back first to Crystal and then to Blaine for the 2 dresses I fell in love with. I tried them each on again with veils, jewelry, headpieces, looked at flower girl dresses, bridesmaid dresses, etc.

In the end, fate helped me decide. When we went back to the first place, in Crystal, I still loved that dress, and I found perfect bridesmaid dresses to go with it. Then I went to the second place, in Blaine, and still loved that dress! I couldn't decide. And I didn't want to take off the dress until I knew, because I knew that there was nothing else I could do to help me make my decision. I briefly considered waiting 'til the end of January to bring my maid of honor out to look at them, but that felt so long away!

So ... I'm standing there with the second dress on, and I'm trying to explain to my mom how I felt about the 2 dresses. "The first dress is so beautiful, and when I put it on I feel like it's totally me, it matches my personality. This dress, ... well it's just so PRETTY! I look in the mirror and I see a bride. It makes me feel special."

My Mom said, "that's hard to choose between ... something that matches you or something that makes you feel like a bride."

A few minutes later this woman comes around the corner and says, "I hear you know the Jutilas!" So I figure that she is the shop owner, who is a friend of my friend Steph's mom. (Steph told me of the shop since her mom's friend owned it and that is where Steph bought her dress). This woman introduces herself as Jackie and we chat for a little bit about how we know the Jutilas, etc. Turns out this woman is from Cloquet. I start to wonder if it's a sign that Jackie walked around the corner at that moment. Jackie then asked me about the other dress and I described it, just the details of the dress itself but not how I felt about it

She listens and then says, "Yes, I know it's really hard to find that dress that makes you feel really special." ... and I thought - wow! I was just using those same words to describe this dress and now Jackie is repeating them. So then I knew it was a sign and that that was the dress. My mom said later that she thought the dress I had on was "the one" when I wouldn't take it off and kept saying "oh it's so pretty!"

I can't put pictures up because of course my groom can't see the dress before the wedding day. It's off-white, champagne/taupe embroidery, a-line, with a long train. My favorite part of the dress is that the train is split and there is an insert of organza in it. So the dress switches from being satin to organza. I like the difference in fabric textures.

I can't wait to wear it again and can't believe it's still 8 months until the wedding day!

I already have pictures of my dress shopping companions in my previous post, so now I'll include a picture of me with Jackie, the shop owner at Angelique's. And I'm adding one of Madi and I trying on dresses - this is NOT my dress but it's a cute one of Madi and I.

The Best Christmas Break Ever

I'm not quite sure how you judge the best Christmas ever, but I certainly feel this was it. I didn't think it would go so well, given a huge project that was due and a final just a few days before Christmas ... I thought I'd show up at my parents' and sleep non-stop. Instead, I found myself continually having one wonderful moment after another. So it wasn't that Christmas brought me any one "fabulous" thing, but rather a string of events, each full of meaning, love, relaxation, peace, laughter. There was the laughter our niece, Madi, brought us, thankfulness that my family was all together for Christmas eve and Christmas day, a church service so full of beautiful music that it brought me out of the routine of year after year of the same candlelight service to a new appreciation of the beauty of the night. My parents, Matt, and I enjoyed a pre-church game of Settlers, and the time together in a relaxing game was just what I needed. Adam's dog Molly was once again adorable, and was more interested in opening her presents this year - what fun! Christmas morning, my mom presented Adam, Matt, and I with fleece garments, all wonderfully hand sewn! Mine was a fleece jacket, warm and cozy with a silky fleece lining. I keep thinking about the hours she spent sewing in the basement to make them. By the time Matt and I drove back to the Cities on Christmas night, I felt like everything this year had clicked into place to make the best Christmas.

The holiday has only continued for me, which is unfortunate probably for my schoolwork, tasks, and assistantship! Instead, Matt and I had our friends Kirsten and Mike visit from Kentucky, we've seen friends Tom and Steph from D.C., taken part in a New Year's Day Settlers tournament, and took part in our caterer tasting for the wedding.

I went North again for a baby shower and to spend a day with my cousins. Here is a picture of my cousins Brooke and Sarah making cheesecakes for the baby shower. Goofy girls! And then I returned to the Cities and went with Matt's sister Karen and niece Madi to see Charlotte's web - I should go to the movies with 2-year-olds more often!



Speaking of the wedding, I know some people are interested in wedding plans, and they are coming along quite nicely! The highlight this week was my Mom coming into town to help with some of the planning. She and I, along with Karen and Madi, spent all day yesterday wedding dress shopping - it was exactly what I would have hoped for! I have some pictures of the four of us at lunch yesterday. So, I now have a wedding dress! My mom and I have also visited our cake vendor and looked at table linens and decorations.


Oh, and happy 2007! It looks to be a very full year for me: graduation from my master's program, my 30th (yikes!) birthday, and a wedding, all in the same year!